Tissues

Of all the things I expected to be unavailable in this country, tissues are certainly not one of them.

No, let me qualify that statement: You can buy tissues here (even though they call them "Kleenexes"). What you cannot get are so-called man-size tissues, i.e. ones that don't fall apart the first time you blow your nose into them.

For a country full of hunters, outdoorsmen, athletes and other "real men", that is extremely remarkable. Do men simply not blow their noses? Or do they blow them into the air or - heaven forbid - onto their sleeve?

At any rate, since I do none of the above, the lack of strong tissues is a real problem for those like myself who eschew cloth handkerchiefs but like nothing better than to honk vigorously into a paper tissue and then carry it in their trouser pockets for repeated further use.

Whereas this may be possible with a suitably puff-resistant tissue, it proves a complete disaster with indigenous brands, which turn to shreds with even the slightest plosive nasal exhalation and either pepper your clothing with fine white paper dust or, if you haven't shaved that morning, stick in your stubble like a grey mustache.

Now I'm not asking for Andrex puppy-strength tissues (I'm only emptying my nose, after all), just something that I can use more than once without it disintegrating into a diaphanous spider's web with more holes than mucus-trapping surface.

Unfortunately, after 15 months trying out more-or-less every brand on the market, I have now resigned myself to using plan B: kitchen roll.