Pampered Pets 2

I have an update on my earlier post about pampered pets:

The kennels that have a DVD/TV option also offer Posturepedic beds, sound-proof doors (so that vacationing pooches aren't disturbed by their neighbours), webcam surveillance, a daily 15 minutes' cuddle time and - for a mere $15 a day extra - a bedtime story.

Invisible Fence

One nice thing about most gardens in the US - whether front or back - is that there are no fences separating properties. Although there's therefore nowhere to kick your football against (and probably explains the local penchant for basketball, baseball and American football), it creates an openness that is at first slightly unnerving for habitually hemmed-in Europeans, yet ultimately liberating.

However, this creates a problem if you have a dog, especially one of the more ferocious kinds. There may not be any postmen to bite, (since they don't leave their Grunman LLVs), but other passers-by are more at risk by such an open-plan setup.

For precisely this reason, many suburbanites have what I first considered to be a placatory ruse: a so-called "invisible fence". From walking around the neighbourhood, we had seen plenty of Invisible Fence signs in gardens (I mean "yards"), but it wasn't until very recently that I discovered how exactly they work.

Each Invisible Fence system consists of one or more zones at the outer perimeter of which a wire is buried in the ground. The dog is then fitted with a special collar. When he tries to pass the wire, he gets an electric shock through his collar. And, as every budding Pavlov knows, give a dog enough "learning experiences" like these and he'll instinctively stop trying to leave his allotted zone.

Comforting as that may sound, I still wonder how effective the system would be in stopping a running, aggressive Alsatian in its tracks or whether, having lunged through the unseen boundary, been zapped and finding itself on the outside of the barrier, this dazed and smarting domesticated wolf might be even angrier and eager to take revenge on poor, defenceless primates like yours truly.

Pampered Pets

Some Americans take the idea of convenience a little too far.

When a fellow runner enquired about a kennel to put his dog in while he went on holiday, he was asked whether he wanted the TV option. Apparently couch potatoes who fear their pooches will miss their favourite series in their master's absence can actually have televisions put in the kennel with them.

I suspect they are shown 'Lassie' and 'K-9' on a continuous DVD loop.

First Puppy

According to the BBC, while President-elect Barack Obama is busy choosing his White House staff, the rest of his family is choosing the puppy that he promised his daughters in his election-night speech:

"Because daughter Malia has allergies, the Obamas may be considering a 'hypoallergenic' breed that sheds less hair. Options could include a labradoodle - a cross between a Labrador and a poodle - a schnoodle (schnauzer and poodle), or a cockapoo (cocker spaniel and poodle). Malia, however, is rumoured to favour a goldendoodle - a poodle crossed with a golden retriever."

Although I think the goldendoodle should have been called the poo retriever, I have a few suggestions of my own for the First Puppy:

1. A German sausage (a cross between an Alsatian - aka German shepherd - and a dachshund - aka sausage dog)
2. A spagbol (a cross between a spaniel and a border collie)
3. A sheep poo (a cross between a poodle and a sheepdog).
   

Can anyone think of any other combinations the Obamas might choose?