Odd Products

Shapes them just like real hands do!

Tap water - in a bottle

A cleaning scalp?

Bought by the man who has everything

A remote control for Big Foot

Barbie NY, London and Paris

Tailgating

As I've written before, Americans love watching primarily their national sports - basketball, (ice) hockey, (American) football and baseball - whether it's in front of the TV, at a bar or at the stadium itself. One of the stranger offshoots of this passion for sports is "tailgating", also known as the "tailgate party".

Essentially tailgating involves travelling to the relevant venue several hours before kick-off, and in some cases early in the morning, partly so that you can get good seats, partly so that you can have a pregame party in the car park.

The expression comes from the American word for the door of the boot of the car - the tailgate - which is folded down to reveal massive amounts of food and drink as well as cooking ranges and/or barbecue sets, TVs, games like cornhole and of course chairs and tables.

However, this being America, many people take tailgating to the logical extreme, completely foregoing the sporting experience of actually watching the game, preferring instead to remain surrounded by parked cars all day drinking light beer and barbecuing with friends.

A friend of mine, whose customised car number plate is "TAILG8R" and who faithfully buys a season ticket to the local university American football team year after year, spends hours every Friday night preparing food, and then starts drinking Bloody Marys in the car park at 8:30 in the morning.

He once proudly told me, "I haven't seen a game the last two seasons!"

Code Red

I've already raved about Mountain Dew. What I haven't told you about is my latest discovery and new soda-of-choice: Code Red.

Now I usually detest cherry-flavoured drinks of all kinds because they're generally sickly sweet. Code Red, however, although billed as cherry-flavoured Mountain Dew, doesn't taste anything like cherry, but is slightly tangy with an aroma that's a cross between cinnamon and vanilla (probably both). It's still got the same ridiculous amounts of sugar and caffeine as regular Mountain Dew and looks dangerously high on cochineal red, but hey, who's counting when it's this good?

Thanks to my neighbours, who drink Mountain Dew instead of coffee and actually start their day with a can or two and can thus safely be described as MD aficionados, I have also been introduced to a wonderful new mixer: Bacardi and Code Red.

No prizes for guessing what's standing beside me as I type these words.

Liquid Volumes

Americans consume their fluids the same way their cars do: by the gallon.

Whether it's milk, juice or liquid soap, the standard container size seems to be 1 gallon (3.78 litres).

Coincidentally, judging by the "1gpf" markings I see everywhere, it's exactly the same volume of water that most urinals and toilets consume with each flush.

Vitamin C

I'm confused.

Looking at the side of an orange juice carton, I noticed a strange comment* in the list of ingredients: "Vitamin C (ingredient not found in regular orange juice)". 

All oranges contain vitamin C, don't they? So how is it that pressing them removes that vitamin C in the States, but not in Europe? Or does American vitamin C somehow manage to cling to the skin and pulp ("I'm not going in there. Some limey might drink me")?

If you know the answer to this conundrum, please write to: Confused Newbie, 123 My Street, Suburbia, USA.

___________

* Apart from the one that my 100% pure orange juice contains other ingredients, that is.

Newcastle Piped Ale

Last night I drank a pint of my favourite beer: Newcastle Brown Ale.

Nothing strange about that, you might think. Nothing at all - except for the fact that Newcastle Brown Ale is only ever sold in bottles. And yet, as my children are my witness, I experienced first hand how my pint (sorry, 12oz) was poured from a tap (see the handle in the picture) in a local bar.

Fortunately, despite this novel mode of delivery, my "Newkie Brown" still tasted as good as ever. Though purist that I am, I did miss sipping it from my bottle in time-honoured fashion.

Did I Hear Right?

"Diet Dr Pepper: There's nothing diet about it."

But then ...?

New Cocktail

Inspired by my recent discovery of Mountain Dew, I have invented a new cocktail. Comprising two parts (lager) beer and one part Mountain Dew, my creation tastes just like a traditional lime shandy, though thanks to its high caffeine content it packs a punch like a double espresso.

I call it a "Mandy" (patents pending in the United States, Europe and elsewhere).

Mountain Dew

Mountain Dew is America's fourth best-selling carbonated beverage after Coca-Cola, Pepsi and Diet Coke respectively. It's a sweet, citrus-flavoured, disconcertingly algae-coloured drink sold by Pepsi Co, originally named after a euphemism for moonshine, containing about 60% more caffeine than Coke (except in Canada, where non-cola soft drinks may not contain caffeine) and often incorrectly accused of causing infertility in men.  There's even an online petition to get Mountain Dew sold in the UK.

Just like Coke and Pepsi, there's no middle ground on Mountain Dew. People either love it or hate it. The first person I asked about Mountain Dew - and you know who you are - was extremely scathing about it, effectively equating it with inbred rednecks, if memory serves me right. The next respondent confessed to being more-or-less addicted to the stuff even though he was from way up north.

Having tried Mountain Dew for myself, I am definitely of the latter persuasion, not least because I was served my glass with a liberal dash of rum (or was it vodka?). Nevertheless, a more recent and more sober analysis has confirmed that Mountain Dew is indeed exceedingly drinkable, even without alcohol. That said, I must admit that it does make a great mixer, a fact confirmed by a cursory Google search, which turned up one site with an amazing 111 Mountain Dew-based cocktails.

But don't take my word for it. Try Mountain Dew for yourself - unless you happen to live in Britain, where you'll have to sign the aforementioned petition and hope it'll eventually be available in your local Sainsbury's.

In the meantime, I'll finish off my Bacardi 'n' MD. Cheers!

Cider

Laurence and I love cider, even though each of us prefers their national variety. Imagine our excitement then when we discovered that a famous producer of cider, the Franklin Cider Mill, was located just a short cycle away. Every now and again, the mill holds a fair, and people flock there to stock up on cider (half or whole gallons only - this is America after all) and freshly-baked doughnuts. 

On a recent fair day, Laurence took Anna and Tom down to Franklin to get us some of our adored tipple, but was somewhat taken aback when the man offered a glass to the kids. "Is that allowed?" she asked. "Sure," the assistant replied. "All the kids round here love cider!"

It turns out that there is not a local waiver on the legal drinking age (21). American cider simply contains no alcohol. The only difference between normal apple juice and cider is that the latter is unfiltered and unpasteurised. Although I was heartbroken to discover this, I must admit that it really does taste delicious. And you can hardly taste the maggots.

Cheers!

A letter from my kids' (American) school today contained the following statement:

"More than a decade of research has consistently found that the more often kids eat dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink and use drugs."

I wonder how watching their parents glugging aperitifs and then several glasses of wine night after night will stop my children becoming alcoholics. Or does the sight of adults drinking put children off alcohol?

Two-Buck Chuck

"Two-buck Chuck" (as it is dubbed on account of its price and its creator, Charles Sutter) gives you a ten-buck headache. Does that make it a bargain?