Freedoms

People in the UK may complain about the "nanny state", yet this mumbled dissension is typically British in its muted amateurism. Not so in the US, where the fight for much-vaunted "freedoms" and "liberty" can be and often is taken into every corner of life.

Americans - or rather, a proportion of said people - are obsessed with their freedoms and the supposed, alleged or feared restriction thereof by "Big Government".

Americans have resisted taxation ever since the Boston Tea Party, when disgruntled New Worlders were so incensed by the fact that they were "taxed without representation" (i.e. supported the British crown financially, but couldn't vote - a situation in which, by a quirk of fate, I too find myself, albeit in my case I pay the IRS) that they threw some leaves off a ship. Scary, eh? The current "Tea Party" is simply an extension of this, a movement who claim they have been Taxed Enough Already - hence TEA - and assert the "freedom" to pay less, thus scuppering any attempts to balance the US budget and rein in the national debt.

Another "freedom" vehemently and vociferously defended is the so-called "right to bear arms" based on the rather ambiguous Second Amendment of the Constitution, which reads:

"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed"

Gun-lobbyists like the National Rifle Association believe this permits people to own even assault rifles. As a result, 40-50% of Americans have one or more guns, although only 11% use them for hunting. In all, there are about 190 million guns in circulation spread between a total population of about 310 million.

One of the dafter "liberties" currently under dispute is the argument against the recently implemented healthcare reforms, which demand that everyone must have healthcare coverage. At last count, as many as 15% of Americans - 46 million people - were without health insurance. But now (wealthy) people are demanding the "right" to opt out, claiming mandatory coverage constitutes an infringement of their liberties. Although the case is still going through the courts, it's possible the nay-sayers could yet scupper what was a bold attempt to give more people access to medical treatment.

Finally, I want to mention a "freedom" that is being argued over here in Michigan: the right not to wear a helmet when riding a motorcycle. At present, all bikers have to wear a helmet. But "freedom-loving people" now want to repeal the 40-year-old legislation on the spurious grounds that, because there is no such law in neighbouring states, Michigan could lose valuable tourism revenues if bikers chose to vacation elsewhere.

"Helmets don't prevent accidents," says the president of the American Bikers Aiming Toward Education Michigan, echoing the NRA's "Guns don't kill, people do" mantra. Seatbelts don't prevent accidents either, but nobody's suggesting we scrap them too - or are they?

Past & Present

My six-year-old came home from school today with a home-made booklet entitled "Families Past and Present". Of particular note given certain food- and transport-related ideosyncrasies of American culture are the following two pages:

(Only mad dogs and "early people" walk!)

(We don't eat meat: we go to McDonalds!)

Cars

We've finally bought a car. And of course it's the obligatory sports utility vehicle (SUV), i.e. a vehicle originally designed to transport heavy tools converted into a vehicle that can transport heavy people, though in our case it's more a school run-mobile masquerading as a truck so that we're the same height off the road as everyone else.

If you've ever bought a car in the States, you'll know what an administrative headache it is, because you can't buy or lease a car unless you have a US "driver's license", which means retaking a written and driving test (unless you have a German licence, which you merely swap for an American one). Only you can't apply for a driving licence without a Social Security number, and you can't apply for a Social Security number until you've been in the States for at least ten days. From start to finish, the whole preparatory process can easily take six weeks. Oh, and did I mention that you can't take possession of your car until you provide proof of insurance for that vehicle?

The other problem with car-buying in the US is that the brands are completely alien to most Europeans, so you spend weeks finding out what the difference is between a Chrysler, Saturn, Buick, Acura, Ford, Chevrolet, Isuzu, Mercury, Lincoln, GMC, Infiniti, Dodge, Jeep, Pontiac, Oldsmobile, Hummer, Cadillac, Lexus and all the other weird and wonderful makes of car that they have over here and seemingly nowhere else. Even if you go for a Japanese or German brand, you'll find that the models are completely different here, where they're mainly larger, less fuel-efficient, uglier and with far fewer safety features (think air bags, crumple zones and their ilk) than in Europe. And the bumpers - oh, the bumpers! - are merely moulded plastic that you can push in with your fingers. (Protection? Who needs that junk? Just buy another!).

Anyway, having got all the paperwork together, chosen a brand and model, and more-or-less negotiated the price with the dealer (everything is negotiable in the US, and if the rumour is true, the only ones who don't haggle are the Germans), I said I'd think about it and consult my wife, joking that she might object to something silly like the colour. When I got home and proudly announced that I'd finally found us a car, my wife's only question was, "What colour is it?"

This story does have a happy ending, because my wife has almost completely recovered from the shock of owning a white car. She even told her female colleagues at work about it last week - their response was, "What colour is it?" - though she was thrown when her (male) boss asked what make of car it was.

"I don't know," she replied. "I only know it's a white one."

Blocks

"Where do you live?"
"14 Mile and Woodward."
"Really? My brother is over on 13 and Maple. We're at Quarton and Telegraph."

When I lived in Europe, I laughed at the idea that most American streets were built in a direct north-south or east-west line with major intersections at exactly one-mile intervals. Boring, I said. Unimaginative.

Now I understand that it makes finding your way around much, much easier than in sinuous Europe. And, as in the above example, you can tell people where you live - without revealing the exact address, I might add - by simply naming the two streets that intersect closest to you (for the record, we're off Inkster and Walnut Lake).

To make things even easier, many of the the east-west roads are often named after the distance in miles from the city centre.

Add to this the fact that many cars have an onboard compass indicating the direction (N, S, E, W) in which you are travelling, and you don't need an IQ of more than about 25 to find your way from A to B (though I bet there's probably someone out there wondering how far 8 Mile is from 12 Mile).

Sat-navs; who needs 'em?

Pedal Power

The automobile isn't always the king of the road in the US.

Today I had a wonderful four-wheels-bad-two-wheels-good experience. Cycling down to my nearest cash dispenser to get some money, I found a car parked at the drive-thru ATM, its driver clearly reading the statement he'd just had printed out. What fun I had ding-dinging him out of the way.

Bikers of the world unite: you have nothing to lose but your chains!

School Buses

School buses are a fine invention. They not only ensure that kids get home from school safely (important since there are no pavements to walk home along - see Priorities). They also leave gainfully employed parents more time for work, and non-working parents more time for essential cosmetic maintenance. And - by way of an environmental consequence - school buses cut down on school runs and therefore fuel consumption.

So who are the gas-guzzlers: Europeans, who take their children to and from school in 4x4s, clogging up the roads in the process and leaving their oversized engines running while they wait for their darlings to emerge, or Americans, whose children are transported collectively and therefore cost-effectively?

In many ways, school buses are a lot like another great British invention that has been consigned to the dustbin of history and the memories of old fogies like myself: milkmen.