FILTH

There's nothing quite like finding out about your home country in a faraway place. 

I remember hearing about the Wall come down in Oxford, being told about Diana's death sitting around a safari-park campfire in Swaziland, and watching the events of 9/11 unfold on my TV in Paris.

Less where-were-you, but nonetheless interesting, is the discovery that I made today while listening to NPR: that "filth" is actually an acronym of the term "Failed In London, Try Hongkong" in reference to people who emigrated to the Far East in the 18th and 19th century because they couldn't make it in England.

I wonder if that makes me FILBAPTD.

Odd Bank Statement

I know we've just lived through a financial meltdown, but should I be worried about the following bank statement?

(Click on the image to enlarge)

Vowel Prolongation

How many syllables are there in the word "east"?

If you thought there was just one, you'd be as intrigued as I was this weekend when I heard a weather reporter from northern Michigan pronounce the word as if it had at least three syllables.

Try it yourself: as odd as it sounds, it's actually no mean feat!

Preparedness

They sometimes sell the weirdest things at Costco, a wholesale shopping club open - for a small annual fee - to all.

One of this month's special offers is a one-year supply of dehydrated and freeze-dried food, the sort of nuclear-winter preparedness pack favoured by end-of-the-world religious extremists and gun-totting, commies-in-our-backyard nuts.

Even taking into account the Costco discount of $200, it still costs $800, which is a heck of a lot of money in my book. And given that Costco only ever buys things in huge quantities, it seems rather an absurd gamble to stock something this outlandish.

Well, it appears Costco has once again perfectly gauged its target audience's consumer preferences, because its Web site bears the following note: "Due to overwhelming demand, any orders placed after 09/30/09 will not ship until 10/28/09".

But this begs the question: what is it that people in America are so scared about that it causes them to flock out and buy emergency rations?

Vaccination

Americans love vaccinations.

Year after year, the norm seems to be for everyone, adults and children alike, to get vaccinated for seasonal 'flu, thereby protecting themselves against one more illness their bodies could easily fight off unaided.

The Swine 'Flu epidemic has therefore got people in a real panic, and medics (undoubtedly aided and abetted by pharmaceutical companies) are encouraging people - including pregnant women, I might add - to get a Swine 'Flu jab as well as their usual seasonal 'flu vaccination.

This is patently ridiculous, not least because the Swine 'Flu vaccine is not effective in protecting the only sectors of the population - young children and the aged - likely to suffer ill effects from contracting the disease.

Don't get me wrong: I'm all in favour of immunisation, especially since it has helped eradicate many serious illnesses that we simply couldn't survive otherwise. But I do feel that knee-jerk vaccination is one of the reasons why Americans have a far higher prevalence of allergies - i.e. over-reaction by their immune systems to harmless substances - than Europeans, for example.

Signs

Shades of "duck and cover"?

(Sign outside children's inflatables hall)

(I gather they're not the most successful forensics team)

Odd Products

(I just feel sorry for poor Margarita)

Spread-flavoured?

Caution: hard to remove from the packaging