Children of the Tweet

"'O.M.G. cholesterol': Oh my God, cholesterol!" my 10-year-old daughter read off her packet of cereal yesterday morning.

SMS and Twitter have a lot to answer for.

Census (Redux)

I am never going to voluntarily fill out a census form again.

I've just found my name, address, phone number and my wife's details published online by the US government on their official census site, a site that has of course been trawled and indexed by Google and co.

What's the point of painstakingly trying to keep your personal information private on social networking sites and elsewhere on the Internet when the government publishes this and more, with no little boxes to uncheck if you object?

The aim may be for greater transparency or openness, but it really puts the row over Facebook's privacy policy into perspective.

Best Intentions

My son's friend: "I have to go now. I have a father-and-son campout."
My son (accustomed to American competitiveness): "Have fun. Hope you win!"

Paedophagy

(Before you start wondering about our cannibalistic diets, I feel I should point out that we ordered two children's portions of chicken fingers)

Signs

Inspiration?

Nemo's grandad has a car?!

For young parents?

Cougars in area?

My favourite country

Odd Products

Easter isn't Easter without these.

Why hang a folded flag on a wall?

Yum ... ow!

Don't get caught at Easter without your foam wall cross

... or your glitter crosses

Toothpaste

Back in the mists of time, in a happier, simpler age, whenever you bought toothpaste, you had the choice between a handful of brands - Signal, Crest, Colgate - as well as a few speciality products for neo-Victorians (Arm & Hammer), wimps (Sensodyne) and similar deviants.

Oh, what I'd give to be back in that long-forgotten, carefree era!

Today I went out to get some toothpaste recommended by my dentist. He'd helpfully given me a small sampler tube, so I already knew I liked it. I also remembered it was Colgate toothpaste.

However, upon reaching the chemist, I was faced with a bewildering array of brands, the most wide-ranging of which was - you guessed it - Colgate. So amazed was I by the plethora of Colgate toothpaste on offer that I actually noted down the names of the ones available at this particular store.

Here, for posterity's sake, is that list:

• Advanced Whitening
• Advanced Clean Plus Whitening
• Advanced Fresh Plus Whitening
• Advanced Fresh Enamel Strength
• Clean Mint
• Max Bright
• Max White With Breath Strips
• Oxygen Bubbles
• Mouthwash Beads
• Enamel Protect
• Sensitive Whitening
• Mint Strip
• Whitening Paste
• Icy Blast Whitening
• Whitening With Stain Lifters

Apparently my local CVS pharmacy is short-changing its customers because the American Colgate site also mentions Total, Total Whitening, ProClinical, Max Fresh, Luminous, 2in1, Sparkling White, Tartar Control, Cavity Protection and Ultrabrite.

I'm sure they all do the same job. They all taste minty, freshen your mouth and clean/whiten/brighten your dentition. So apart from confusing consumers, what is the point of having twenty or more names - nay, synonyms - for what is essentially one and the same thing?