French [Add Noun]

I used to think that "French" was a description of the language spoken by Fracophone peoples or an adjective that meant "pertaining to France". But maybe I'm too much of a stickler for linguistic accuracy.

Here in the States it can also have this meaning, though it can just as easily not do so, as the following misnomers show:

• French fries: Everyone has heard of these. In Britain we call them "chips". Only the Americans seem unaware that they were invented by the Belgians. Briefly renamed "freedom fries" by US nationalists when France refused to join the Coalition of the Willing to Invade Iraq Needlessly.
• French kiss: A teenage special this, defined magnificently by the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary - the New-World version of the OED - as "an open-mouthed kiss, usu. involving tongue-to-tongue contact". I may have received my first proper French kiss from my French teacher's daughter, but that still doesn't really qualify it as uniquely French. Spawned the verb "to French".
• French toast: A staple weekend breakfast in American households, involving frying slices of bread dipped in a mixture of egg and milk. The (actual) French call this "pain perdu". Since neither eggs nor milk are especially French, and sliced bread certainly isn't, I fail to understand the French connection here either.
• French bean: I say "green bean", the French say "haricot vert". Let's call the whole thing off.
• French telephone: A combination telephone receiver-transmitter. By that definition, all our mobile phones are not Finnish or American after all, but French.
• French dip sandwich: A hot roast-beef sandwich served with a side of beef cooking juice (known as "au jus") or broth, into which said item is dipped. Invented in New York - as in New York, USA rather the one that doesn't exist in France.
• French fly: A button on the inside of zippered trousers, thereby allegedly keeping them flatter than externally buttoned ones. Do the French hide their buttons? And if so, why?
• French dressing: Not vinaigrette, as you might expect, but a sweet, creamy salad sauce whose ingredients include ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, paprika and sometimes onions, apparently invented by Kraft Cheese in Chicago.
• French manicure: A fashionable way to get your fingernails done involving, I'm told, a line of pink varnish at the top and white nail varnish below. Just like the French flag. Or not.
• French onion dip: A mixture of sour cream, onion and chives used to dunk quasi-French crisps or tortilla chips into. Invented in that ur-French département, California.
• French roll: A circular or oval piece of bread, often sweetened, and therefore about as French as Marmite. Often used for the outer part of a French dip sandwich.
• French silk pie: A creamy open pie filled with chocolate with a whipped-cream topping. The crust is similar to that of a cheesecake and therefore chilled, not baked. Appears to have been invented in South America. As in far away from France.
• French chalk: Talc. Used by tailors, welders and metalworkers. Around the globe. Therefore about as French as water.

So in summary, "French" can mean using tongues, green, egg-and-milk soaked, deep-fried, all-in-one, hidden, sweet, bicoloured, dippable, dunkable or chocolate-filled. Obvious, really, when you think about it.