Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Avoiding Infection


Americans are obsessed with cleanliness, being safe and personal space. Shopping trolley handles are sanitised, towels are used only once, children are routinely encouraged to "make good choices", and hugging is the greatest sign of affection you can get from the locals (why else did you think the "high five" was so popular?). Even children are forbidden from kissing each other at school.

Not surprisingly therefore, the Swine Flu* outbreak has raised fears of physical contact and infection to near-panic levels. Although it appears that the virus is no more dangerous than the common cold**, the fact that it is now officially approaching pandemic level*** has seen entire school districts closed willy-nilly, and children who have visited Mexico being barred from attending school for 7-10 days.

Most bizarre and yet quintessentially American among the kneejerk reactions I have come across thus far is an article entitled "Don't Gimme Five!" that appeared today on the NPR Web site. Apart from passing on the nigh-impossible advice of the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention that people "maintain a 3 to 6-foot distance" from one another (though not the CDC's recommendation that people wear facemasks and use respirators in crowded areas), the article lists in text and large images what you should and should not do at the present time.

Handshakes, kissing and hugging are definitely out. So too is the young person's greeting of choice: the hand- or fist-bump. In their place are odd, contrived greetings like the wave, the foot smack (i.e. footsie), the curtsy and the forearm-to-forearm bump favoured by TV "warrior princess" Xena.

Don't forget your ruler!

But my hands-down favourite for the title of Daftest Quasi-Greeting Of All Time has got to be the self-hug.


Whatever will they think of next?
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* Following a complaint from the pork industry that the name "Swine Flu" could cause a downturn in sales, the illness has officially been renamed "novel influenza A (H1N1)", though one plucky Reuters correspondent has suggested several more witty names, including "Bacon's Revenge" and "The Flu Formerly Known as Swine Flu".
** The only two deaths in the US so far have been of a 22-month infant and a person who already had chronic underlying health problems.
*** Even Phase 6, the highest level on the WHO's influenza infection scale, merely indicates that there is widespread human infection and says nothing about how deadly a flu virus is.

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